Bleach-Haired Honkey Bitch

I am, as many of you know, a writer by day and a bartender by night — and yet, as many of you may not know, I’m not merely a bartender by night: I’m also a very passionate man.

As such, the creative spirit I strive to pour into my literature occasionally spills over into my work as a cocktologist, so that every once in a while, when I’m lucky, one of those cocktails will, if I may say so, transcend the quotidian and fall squarely within the precincts of the eternal. The Bleach-Haired Honkey Bitch (2 parts Tito’s vodka, 3 parts Tang) is, I believe, just such a cocktail — and evidently I’m not the only one who feels this way.

The following photo was recently emailed to me:

resize_bleach haired hb
In case you can’t quite make it out, that’s a T-shirt I had made which says:

ACE GILLETT’S: CHANGING LIVES, ONE BLEACH-HAIRED HONKEY BITCH AT A TIME

To whoever you are out there, staring philosophically across the eternal surf and the beautiful San Francisco Bay, thank you. You’ve touched my heart.

Thank you for wearing my Bleach-Haired Honkey Bitch shirt, and thank you even more for enjoying the Bleach-Haired Honkey Bitch cocktail. You are very clearly a woman of a rare and sophisticated palate.





9 Comments

  • Micky

    November 22, 2013

    “spills over into my work as a cocktologist,”

    I luv ya man.
    But I wouldnt sat that too loud in San Francisco.

  • Micky

    November 22, 2013

    “spills over into my work as a cocktologist,”

    I luv ya man.
    But I wouldn’t say that too loud in San Francisco.

  • Micky

    November 22, 2013

    Arrgh !

  • Micky

    November 22, 2013

    In my experience, the bleach-haired honkey bitch was more often than not a closet dyke trying to fuck her way into heterosexuality and always ended up beating the shit out of me because my asshole didn’t have a clitoris.

  • Ray

    November 23, 2013

    Hi Micky!

    Man, I’ve missed hearing you talk about dykes and fucking and your anus and getting the shit beat out of you.

    Have a great Thanksgiving! Are you cooking?

  • Micky

    November 23, 2013

    Sorry Ray, but that post was loaded with subjectivity, and I was stoned.
    Be grateful I didnt toss is the stuffed turkey joke.
    Yes I’m cooking and would like nothing more than to mix your exquisite cocktology with my culinary expertise for all to enjoy the inevitable euphoria the two can make in bondage.

  • Ray

    November 24, 2013

    No need to be sorry — I liked it.

  • Micky

    November 28, 2013

    Enjoy yourself today.
    Hope you’re not stuck behind the bar today, having to listen a bunch of bleeding hearts or morons that no one wants at their house.

  • Ray

    November 28, 2013

    You too!

    I have the day off, and it’s a good feeling. No bleeding-hearts anywhere near me.

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